It’s time to get your quotes for a mysterious soul vending machine

And when you're done with your sinister ritual, you can dip some toast in it for a delicious breakfast.

It can be hard to find the perfect gift for the evil wizard in your life. What kind of gifts, after all, would excite someone who already possessed dozens of black robes, golden cups, goat skulls, and ritual daggers? Well, it turns out that eBay is currently showing the one item a demonic priest in your life might not already have: a curse artifact. It’s called a ship of condemnation rites.

The ship (also referred to as the “A Sorcerors Lens”) is currently priced at $1,333.33, lowered to its original $66,666.66 price and ships from California. that it The condition has been described as “used but fully capable of use”. Regarding what this use entails, the seller says: “This very rare item was created for use in condemnation rites, and was used to make 3 irremovable marks on the lateral and medial muscle of the right eye.”

“The Conviction Ritual was a visual and enduring representation of [the participant’s] Confirmation to serve gentlemen [sic] Orders – forever,” the list goes on. We’re told this process was popular with “actors, actresses, and artists” from the ’60s to ’80s who wanted to sell their souls to the devil in exchange for a job, and apparently they needed a fine glass sculpture to make it happen. As for the quality The ship, we are sure, is “handcrafted of cursed materials and its design allows the subject to view their master as the vow of condemnation prescribes.”

The ship, apparently, was certified by “an optoelectronic engineer and technician to validate the claims of its characteristics.” It was donated to “the seller’s research program that has produced a complete encyclopedia of celestial, aerial, and surface images that demonstrate and confirm the existence of a manned world hiding in plain sight.”

Curious to know how the Not 4 Profit was named Inc. — whose eBay listing notes that sale proceeds go toward “programs that benefit students, seniors, education, and communities” — advanced with such a strong component, Max Read I dug into the item on his Substack He opened a huge can of worms.

In short: He found that Not 4 Profit, which usually sells old computer accessories and electronics, is run by a man who goes by David Moriyama or, on his YouTube channel, August). After learning that Moriyama is big on recycling technology And the Mysteriously, Red manages to get him on the phone for an interview.

Moriyama told Red that “his family is very old, very antique,” ​​explaining that he has “the first title on the planet” and that his family is “well known among history and myth.” As part of the work he does to honor this legacy, Moriyama has started Not 4 Profit, which he repurposes Old laptops Donate it to his company He gives it to the students. Simply put, the Calming Computer Recycling nonprofit is also, at the same time, an obscure nonprofit. “So it’s perfectly normal to sell both Vessel Of Damnation and an old Siemens laptop.”

Regarding how the ship itself ended up in Moriyama’s possession, he points to his “friends in the Hollywood industry” and the historical use of the sinister device as a magical way to help revitalize struggling careers by trading in the soul for new show business opportunities. . related reading Video (Very entertaining) About how this whole process works—And a visit to see the ship itself, packed away in an ammunition box and surrounded by bibles – if you want to go down that weird rabbit hole.

Once done, if you want to spend a whole bunch of money on this thing, still For auction on eBay. Otherwise, check out more story Substack Max Read.

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