Whereas Chris Collinsworth would never see it looking at the way his brain drips with throbbing erections Every time he covers the Aaron Rodgers gameThere has always been a stark difference between Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre. Rodgers never had a Packers season by stabbing himself to death.
It was a winter tradition, and one of my favorites from my childhood through adulthood. Favre was blowing fumes out of all the headlines and calling him “that gunslinger,” he may have actually thought he was Doc Holliday and practiced his Wild West walk in the mirror the night before a game. And then in a playoff game, he’d come out and throw an unbelievable interception that would bring the curtain down on the Packers season. He even did it for the Vikings once just to share the wealth.
It’ll be polished at all the drooling festivities the following season, because as I’ve heard 793 times, “He’s just having fun in there.” Yes, he was ridiculous, until the moment his fun killed the fun of others. Favre constantly believed that he was the savior of some cities under the control of villains and only he could blow them all up. All he did was shoot your dick when it mattered most. Ask Giants, Eagles, or Saints fans about it at some point, to name a few.
Rodgers sure didn’t have the rings to match his status as (admittedly) Possibly the best QB ever – Certainly one of them. The Packers always found a way around him to unravel in January, whether it was Mike McCarthy’s brain suffering from engine failure or some other malfunction. It’s not that Rodgers has always been great in the playoffs, but it would be far down the list of reasons why Packers players, much like their fans, ended up in their own vomit when all was said and done.
It’s probably worth asking what we’d say about him if Jay Cutler hadn’t been hurt in the 2010 NFC Championship Game? Let’s leave that for another time, because that’s what a die-hard Bears fan thinks (but that’s where I live).
G/O Media may earn a commission
$50 off preorder
Ring Car Cam
It’s a camera. For your car.
The Ring Car Cam’s dual-facing HD cameras capture activity in and around your car in HD detail.
But now Favre and Rodgers walk in lockstep. Both spent over a decade inhaling their own farts and those of a worshiping green and gold faithful (and imagine the sheer amount and pungency there) to the point where they lost any sense of reality around them. Favre did it with his naked clawing for attention disguised as him wrestling with whether to retire or not for what seemed like 10 straight seasons. He just wanted everyone to tell him how great he was again and how important he was, until he wasn’t. Rodgers did it with add any page in Wikipedia He can find and wear it himself while Pat McAfee tries to eat a cow’s heart without chewing it.
What does Rodgers do now?
And now Rodgers has his killer inner smart for the season, too. He did his best to make sure Rodgers was nothing if not punctual, but his constant companionship in black and white stripes knocked him out first. So he threw another pitch, a pitch that would have been described as a duck sail if it came off the bat at home plate in the face of a blitz, the only hope was that Kirby Joseph would land a laugh before the ball fell softly into his arms. As if she was returning home after months on the road. which it was.
And the packers went there. Packers go-for-it. On the hook for $237 million next year already the Packers. Somewhere, Favre is wiping a tear with an allegedly giant check Assist transfer from Children to well-being in Mississippi.
Oh, and there’s no chance we’re done. Rodgers will do the same dance now. Do you think that after holding the Packers hostage every season to get him the Easter Island statuette to a contract, he’ll walk away with $60 million next year? bfft. He’s made his name now while keeping his own in the conversation. He can’t get enough, and going cold turkey in retirement could kill him. He’ll portray himself as being above it, that money doesn’t matter, that he’ll be happy on his own, but we all know he can’t breathe without the oxygen of attention and headlines. Packers will comment, he’ll hint at retirement only to engineer a deal for some team he’ll happily compensate handsomely for the faster part of his downhill while there are shots of bewildered fans in his new hometown uttering: “Is that it?” After another loss in November. Maybe it will be planes again. Destiny is not without a sense of irony, after all.
and outside Wisconsin, He’ll find a media unit that doesn’t bend to his every whim, and that doesn’t make him feel like he’s happy to be in the same room with him. Only a protected person like Rodgers could come up with His fierce horse was pelting Etna in the past two seasons. This will disappear and it will become clear that the emperor only has stupid clothes.
Keep showing those side-by-side photos of Rodgers and Favre. Collinsworth. They go deeper than you know.
Meanwhile, in Italy
Across the pond, Napoli have consolidated their lead atop Serie A and continue to be the biggest party in European football at the moment. We’ll find out why at a later date, but for a decent taste just watch Victor Osimhen totally gargle the spirit of Sampdoria’s Bram Neutinck.